You read and hear a lot these days about how Facebook is causing a change in the way we understand the word “Friend.” It’s ever so slight and gradual – of course we all understand that the Facebook Friend we made because we lol’d at the same cat photo isn’t a real friend of ours, but it’s persistent. As people continue to use the vernacular provided to them, the definition of what a friend IS, is changing. It happens in no official manner, but instinctively. Especially children, who grow into a world where this demonstration is so prevalent. One may wonder, will new words have to be used to define the people you’re actually close to, the ones who will help you move a refrigerator?

Three people on a beach, looking across the lake.

They look like they get along... but are they Facebook-Friends?

Google developed Google Plus around this idea, that not everybody you connect with is a friend, some are colleagues, some are family, some are your baseball buddies. Of course, even this is lacks perfection. Relationships are fluid, yet the computers that run the internet are mechanic-yes-or-no-strict-definition-type creatures.

Recenlty, in a conversation thread on webdoc, I was reminded that though Facebook – being the site that brought social networking into the light of popular culture – is the one that get’s the blame these days, being the site that brought social networking into the light of popular culture, it’s been happening for a while.

Remember your first friend on MySpace? Tom? (These days, you can circle him on google plus – he’s actually got a few insightful things to say, even if they’re at times hetero-centric) By being automatically included in every new user’s friends lists – Tom was redefining friendship before MySpace members even had time to call the concept into question themselves.

What kind of friend will put themselves in your life without giving you a say in the decision? Who wants to be at your party but refuses to speak to you, or anybody, for that matter? (What kind of friend sells your ‘space’ to Rupert Murdoch?)

(I made comments. Make sure to click above to see them.)

I realize some of the habit’s I’ve developed call into question if I’ve been affected by such a thing myself. I’ve had lengthy discussions about my use of the word friend, and how I apply it. In conversation, if I find the need to define someone by their relationship with me, I’ll default to saying “My friend.” So though I may not consider someone close, I will refer to them as a friend. Doesn’t that make sense?

To me this was always completely logical. For example, if I was introducing a person I just met recently to someone I’ve known for a long time, I would say, “This is my new friend John.” It seemed uncomplicated and amicable. Though, maybe it’s an example of me instinctively adopting the socio-digital vernacular.

How do YOU use the word friend? How do you define it? How has that changed over time?